Tubing Update!
Stop the presses, I have a problem. The clock just stuck 1am and I can not sleep because I have been tossing and turning thinking about yesterdays post. I have two issues with the “Tubing” post. Stylistically, it is just too long. More importantly, I couldn’t put my finger on what is wrong with tubing. I think I have solved both issues.
The breakthrough came when at witts end I contacted former Jackson Freerider Matt Klene. Matt is now studying radically experimental, free-form, writing techniques. When asked about blogging he postulated that readers do not want to scroll when reading a post. Short and sweet is the key which means you have to hit them over the head with your knowledge and leave. Not great for my rambling style, but I like it. Fortunately, Klene is one of the foremost authorities on gear and the collection of it. We came to the opinion that the problem with Tubing is that it breaks a fundamental law of sport. The law is simple. For someone to be able to claim that they are a true enthusiast in a given sport they must own a “quiver” of equipment pertaining to said sport. Skiing is a great example. Any true skier will tell you that you have to have several different pairs of skis that are designed for different conditions, styles or events. Classically, these skis have been somewhere along the lines of slalom, GS, freestyle… Today in Jackson people have a quiver of powder specific skis. You have your inbounds powder ski. Your back country powder ski. Your side country powder ski. And then you have the old Billy Baroo for those epic days when nothing else will work. The problem with tubing is that currently there is no difference in equipment as far as I know. I need there to be a high volume tube used for running smaller creeks and whitewater. A low volume tube for those hot summer afternoons when you want to be as low in the water as possible. And then of course you need some sort of customized tube with speakers, satellite radio, a built in cooler and cup holder and maybe, just maybe a small electric motor. This tube is for special occasions when you need to impress or you know that “That Guy” who thinks he is a gift to the sport is going to be at the take out and you just want to make him look stupid.
Moving forward I promise to keep the posts short and powerful. If anyone knows how I can start a quiver of tubes please let me know. I like tubing too much to give up now.
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